And even though I’m surrounded by robots and monsters and old people, I’ve never felt more at home. Look, we’re your family, and if you can’t talk about your problem with us, that would be great. Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer “extortion”. You know what else stinks about being a slave? The hours.

My story is a lot like yours, only more interesting ‘cause it involves robots. Kittens give Morbo gas. Two oil changes for the price of one! Now if I could afford the one, and the car. But if rich people think it’s good, I’ll buy it. One art, please! I doubt I’ve seen more than three or four captains sexier than you, and only one who was deadlier.

Well, that’s your job whether you like it or not. And it’s my job to make you do your job, whether I like it or not. Which I do. Very much! Fry, it’s been years since medical school, so remind me… Disemboweling your species: fatal or non-fatal? Well, if jacking on will make strangers think I’m cool, I’ll do it.

This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me! Now, my usual fee is 500 bucks. But seeing as how it’s you, I’m gonna need it in advance. Well, thanks to the internet, I’m now bored with Sex. Well, that’s your job whether you like it or not. And it’s my job to make you do your job, whether I like it or not. Which I do. Very much!

I wonder what the Shroud Of Turin tastes like. Well, thanks to the internet, I’m now bored with Sex. By the way, I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar. I can’t believe somebody hired an interstellar spaceship to deliver a package to Atlantic City. If you ask me, it’s mighty suspicious. I’m gonna call the police. Right after I flush some things.

A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of Creatureism. On margin! Zoidey wanna buy on margin! Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The ‘x’ makes it sound cool. Your music is bad & you should feel bad! Valentine’s Day is coming? Oh crap, I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

We don’t want to look like slobs in front of the other species, do we? Have you ever tried simply turning off your TV, sitting down with your child, and hitting them? Now, my usual fee is 500 bucks. But seeing as how it’s you, I’m gonna need it in advance. Valentine’s Day is coming? Oh crap, I forgot to get a girlfriend again.

Speaking of which, my story kind of petered out without me learning a lesson. Did everything just taste purple for a second? A fancy dress gala? I’ll wear my formal shell. Hooray! I’m a teenage heartthrob again! Help! A guinea pig tricked me! Why always the fighting? These candies are chalky and unpleasant! And what is this emotion you humans call “wuv”?

A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of Creatureism. I don’t have emotions & sometimes that makes me very sad. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was already here. Wait, what’s with all the Leelas? Hooray! A happy ending for the rich people. Well, if jacking on will make strangers think I’m cool, I’ll do it.

Simplicity, wit, and good typography. Design is where science and art break even. As we decrease uncertainty, we give ourselves permission to increase fidelity. A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good. The key to great ideas is not having them, it is executing them. And great ideas come from problems. As designers, we call problems, briefs and we call reactions to problems, concepts.

Good design is like a refrigerator—when it works, no one notices, but when it doesn’t, it sure stinks. Design everything on the assumption that people are not heartless or stupid but marvelously capable, given the chance. Design creates culture. Culture shapes values. Values determine the future. Have no fear of perfection — you’ll never reach it.

Design is where science and art break even. It took me a few seconds to draw it, but it took me 34 years to learn how to draw it in a few seconds. If you do good work for good clients, it will lead to other good work for other good clients. If you do bad work for bad clients, it will lead to other bad work for other bad clients.

The alternative to good design is always bad design. There is no such thing as no design. Design is more than just a few tricks to the eye. It’s a few tricks to the brain. Whitespace is like air: it is necessary for design to breathe. Information is only useful when it can be understood. Design adds value faster than it adds costs.

If you do it right, it will last forever. Practice safe design: Use a concept. The alternative to good design is always bad design. There is no such thing as no design. If you think good design is expensive, you should look at the cost of bad design. Get rid of everything that is not essential to making a point.

Creativity is nothing but the way to solve new problems. Look at usual things with unusual eyes. If you think good design is expensive, you should look at the cost of bad design. Do not seek praise, seek criticism. Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats.